Normandy
by AngstyShenko
Summary: The sequel to Service. AU. Lauren Shepard and Kaidan Alenko have been on and off friends since they were teens at BAaT. Will serving together change their friendship? A trilogy novelization, but straying from canon.
1. Chapter 1

**Fixed from a previous version...thank anonymous...I have NO military knowledge and Google failed me!**

"Joker, you've got to see it. It was a beautiful ship, but I've never seen anything like it," said Staff Lt. Lauren Shepard to her friend Jeff Moreau, who was known to most by his nickname. "Captain Anderson said it had a stealth drive core. I have no idea how that works, but..."

"It sounds completely badass is what," said Joker, looking jealous even in the grainy vidcomm feed. "It's like the worst kept secret in the Alliance. Everyone knows about it and every pilot wants a chance at her helm!"

"So I take it you'll be applying?" she said in a nonchalant manner.

"Hell yes! My legs may be crippled, but my brain isn't and that's an opportunity too good to pass up! I'm jealous as hell. How in the fuck did you actually get picked to be the Normandy's XO?"

"I don't really know...I was as blindsided as anyone. I thought I'd be stuck in Vancouver forever."

After killing nearly 50 surrendering batarians on Torfan, the Alliance had quietly tucked Lauren away at their research and development headquarters where she was testing and developing armor to help biotics and weapons to defend against them. But that was months ago, now Lauren was suddenly thrust into a position of leadership that she hadn't known before when Capt. David Anderson asked her to be the executive officer of the _Normandy_, which would be under his command.

"Nah, you're too valuable. Hell, I saw that back on the _Emden_. Major Kyle did too. Why do you think you got thrown into N-School? Because you know your shit. Just like I know mine...and mine is going to be the _Normandy_. I can feel that engine right now..." Joker closed his eyes and started to mimic running a ship's controls.

"Well, since you are going to obviously start fantasizing about giant stealth drive cores...I should go," Lauren laughed.

Joker opened his eyes and gave Lauren a quirky smile. "You laugh it up now, but I know you'll be seeing me in person before you know it...I'll take you around the galaxy in style. Mark my words."

"Ok Joker. See you around." Lauren clicked off the vidcomm. Joker was in Dubai getting some specialized training for new defensive maneuvers, but Lauren was just starting her day. It was nearly 0600 and time to catch her transport to work.

This had become her favorite part of the day. She would take her usual seat in the middle. The back was always too loud with engine noise and the front..._no one likes the front_, she thought. She'd sit with a hot cup of tea, sipping and waiting through three stops from her apartment when Kaidan would step on.

She smiled as she sat. Staff Lt. Kaidan Alenko was a good friend. The years they spent separated after BAaT seemed to melt away once they started working together again. It didn't seem like it had actually been 14 years since they left Brain Camp, but yet it had.

The transport stopped and Lauren saw the familiar dark-haired man climb in. He had a funny routine that she had started to notice after a few months of riding every day. Kaidan would take the two steps up into the transport, stop, and while looking up take a big sip of his ever-present coffee. Then he would smile at her, take the 10 steps it took to get to her seat (she always counted and the step count never changed), set his duffel in the overhead compartment with his left hand while his right still held his coffee and with a quick smooth motion slid into the seat beside her.

"Hey," he said. Lauren liked the comfort of his sleepy smile in the morning. He always looked like he probably rolled out of bed just a couple minutes before the transport arrived. Not messy, just something in his eyes. His voice was low and smoky, pleasant to listen to, so she often tried to get him to talk.

"Hey Kaidan, how's your mom?" Lauren had never actually met the woman, but she did know that he still lived with his parents, mostly out of proximity to work. Lauren didn't know how he did it. Her parents were still in Chicago and sometimes that felt too close.

Kaidan rolled his amber brown eyes. "Oh, she's fine. My dad got home last night for a bit of shore leave. Today is their anniversary. They've been married 35 years, so he's planning on taking her to Hawaii for the weekend."

"Is that bad?"

"No, but you have to know my mom...she's...very traditional."

"Ok?" Lauren looked at Kaidan quizzically.

"We got into a little bit of an argument last night. She was getting on my case about marriage..." He paused to take another long drink of coffee. "And giving her grandkids."

"Oohhh," Lauren laughed. "My mom couldn't care less, thank God."

"She just thinks that a 31-year-old man should be settling down and starting a family. I told her I just wasn't ready for that yet. It's hard to explain."

"Nah, you don't have to explain it to me. I may never get married and have kids and I'm fine with that. There's too much of the galaxy I want to see. That's why I'm so excited..."

"About the Normandy," said Kaidan, finishing her sentence. "Yeah, it is pretty great. As soon as I got involved in the project, it made me think about that a little too, but for now, I'm really ok staying here at R&D."

"Don't you ever want to get off of Earth? This place can be so boring sometimes."

"Yeah, I mean, I've thought about some fun places to take some shore leave and things, but..." He stopped again and chuckled to himself.

"What's so funny?"

Kaidan gave Lauren a sideways look. "Nothing, just an old memory."

"Well, Anderson said we're going to start taking applications and recommendations for the crew in a few months. You should think about it." Lauren elbowed Kaidan gently. "Everything is supposed to be ready for launch early next year."

Stretching his arms out in front of him, Kaidan yawned. "I don't know...maybe. We'll see. For now, I like working on its systems and getting all the kinks worked out. I don't know if that'll translate into a desire to stay on it. I don't really care for front-line duty."

Lauren looked at his now-frowning face. "I've been waiting for an adventure like this for ages. Just say you'll look into it?" Lauren made a big-eyed puppy dog look that caused Kaidan to laugh.

"All right...I'll look into it."

**A/N: Ok...setting a little of the time before the trilogy. Please let me know what you like and what you don't! I appreciate all of your support through my first two Lauren stories...I hope I can make this as enjoyable for you as it is for me!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for the favorites and follows...and thanks again to my reviewer who pointed out my problem with the first chapter! Yes, I actually do like constructive criticism :) Please enjoy!**

"We're planning on taking her out for a test flight today, everyone." The deep voice of Capt. Anderson boomed through the interior of the _Normandy_. "Things need to be checked out and ready to go by 1400. Any problems, you come to myself or the XO, Lt. Shepard. Anderson, out."

Kaidan had to admit that he was kind of excited about the initial run of this great ship,and he was really glad to be a part of it...most of the time. Right now, he was frustrated. He had been working the same console every day for the last week. It was the computer than ran the engine cooling system, and every day he had adjusted it to proper parameters and every morning he'd come back to find it completely wrong. It was different every day and getting increasingly more difficult to pinpoint where the problem was.

Today it was very wrong. It was 1030 and he wasn't anywhere near finding the problem, let alone solving it. He looked up and saw Lauren walking by. "Lieutenant, we've got an issue over here," he called.

"What's wrong, Alenko?" Lauren smirked because it was sometimes hard not to just call him Kaidan, but there was proper protocol while on duty.

"There is something that's really wrong with this engine coolant system. I've fixed it every day this week, but every morning it is messed up again. Right now, if we fired up the engine, it would overheat in 15 minutes causing some real damage. It might even explode if left much longer than that. I'm not trying to be alarmist here, but something's up. I don't know if I can get it fixed in time for 1400. Can you let Capt. Anderson know? I'm doing my best."

Lauren's brow was furrowed as she nodded. "Sure, Ka-I mean, Alenko. Just keep me apprised of your progress, ok?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Kaidan as he turned back to face his work.

When Lauren reached Anderson, he was looking pleased. "Captain?" she asked.

"Shepard, I told you, you can call me Anderson. Even on duty," he smiled.

"Yes, sir...Anderson. There's a problem down in engineering. A console that is running the engine cooling system is having some sort of malfunction. Apparently, it's been a consistent problem this week. Lt. Alenko is working on it, but he said he may not be able to fix it in time for 1400 like you would like."

Anderson rubbed his chin in concern. "I'm not much of an engineer myself. I was always a down-and-dirty roughneck. I don't think my basic working knowledge would be much help either. What I do know is that the cooling system is vital for a proper takeoff..." He paused to think. "Go back down there and have Alenko walk you through this. One of us needs to know this stuff if it happens again. In the meantime, we'll postpone until tomorrow."

As Lauren walked back heading toward engineering, she heard Anderson make the postponement over the comm system. She knew she wasn't any good with tech stuff either. As a Vanguard, she had specialized in weapons and armor. She could hack a few locks. N-School had taught her that. She could mess things up, but actually_ fixing_ a whole system? Highly unlikely.

Upon entering engineering, she could see that Kaidan's lips were tight and thin and his brow was beaded with perspiration. "I'm sure you heard Anderson's announcement," Lauren said, really hating to bother him.

His face loosened as he turned to look at her. "Yeah, thanks. This looks like a long fix. Everywhere I go on this, things seem to be fine, until it isn't."

"Well, lucky you, you get to teach me about this. Anderson wants you to walk me through this, in case this happens again while we're out in space. Someone needs to know how to fix it and do it quickly."

Rubbing his arm across his brow, Kaidan let out a little huff. "Sure, take that datapad over there and take notes while I'll talk you through it."

The hours passed slowly with Lauren taking copious notes and Kaidan patiently showing her everything that needed to be set for the system to work properly. He took her through the console itself showing her the circuitry and how it was put together. By 1900 hours, both were tired and hungry.  
"I think we've reached a point we can take a break," said Kaidan, closing up an access panel on the console. "That is, with your permission, ma'am."

"Definitely. Let's head to the mess and get something," agreed Lauren. "The overnight crew should be showing up soon. We should come back when we're done and let them know what's been going on."

The pair walked out of engineering, passing a couple turians along the way. Lauren thought one of the turians eyed them as they passed. Kaidan didn't notice. "I'm probably going to eat half of the food they have set out," he said. "I really shouldn't let myself get this hungry. My head is starting to pound."

"Maybe we should swing by the medbay before we get off the ship. I think the doctor was in, stocking up," Lauren suggested.

"Yeah, that's not a bad idea. My migraines can come on really fast. Shit...like it is now." Kaidan used his hands to cover his eyes. "God, those lights are bright."

Lauren guided Kaidan to the medbay where an older woman was moving around, setting up and sorting various medical supplies. She turned and saw Kaidan slumping against Lauren. "Oh my...what do we have here?" Her gentle British accent was kind.

"Migraine," Kaidan creaked out. "I'm an L2 biotic. I need the strongest stuff you got."

"That I can do. Lie down here. I'm Dr. Karin Chakwas. It is nice to meet you...?"

Kaidan's face had gone pale and he looked to be in no condition to talk, so Lauren answered in his stead. "This is Lt. Kaidan Alenko. I'm Lt. Lauren Shepard."

"I've done some study on L2s, Lieutenant. You are very lucky. I've only met maybe 2 or 3 other stable ones like yourself." She chatted as she filled a syringe and, taking Kaidan's arm, quickly found a vein and delivered the injection.

The medication seemed to have an immediate effect. "Thanks Doc," Kaidan said weakly. "This one came on really fast...mostly my fault. I hadn't eaten."

"There's a reason for those energy bars they give out...keep some on hand," Chakwas lightly chastised. She looked to Lauren. "I think he needs to stay here for a little while. Just to let everything settle down. You go on about your business. He is fine. Oh, and by the way, I'm pleased that you are going to be the _Normandy's _XO."

"Thanks, Dr. Chakwas." Lauren left Kaidan in the medbay and was about to go up the stairs when she decided against it, turning instead toward the elevator to head back to engineering. _Probably should tell the night crew about what's going on_, she thought. _Then I'll head out for the night._

In engineering, the turian who Lauren thought looked at her was standing at the console she and Kaidan had been working at all day. He looked up and walked away, seeming to move on to other work. Lauren saw her datapad sitting there, so she picked it up and started looking through her notes.

Following the instructions Kaidan had given her earlier, she immediately saw that the cooling system was malfunctioning again. She started trying to do what Kaidan had done and get everything properly calibrated. She thought she may have found the problem when, after a long time of looking through the computer's readings finding nothing, she opened the access panel.

Before she started to look, Dr. Chakwas' voice could be heard. "Lt. Shepard...I'm glad you are still on board. Lt. Alenko is doing much better, but he'll need some help getting home. This medication has made him quite sleepy. He said you knew the way?"

"Sure, Doc..I'll be happy to help him home. I've just got a little more work to do, I hope."

The mess of wires and circuitry was quite confusing, but as she moved her head in toward the back she could see something. "These wires don't look right," she muttered. Then, despite reaching carefully, Lauren received a large shock that threw her on her backside. "Shit!" she cried out in pain. She was seeing stars and started to pull herself up to stand, but a taloned hand clamped down on her shoulder pushing her back down and she saw the flash of a knifeblade aimed at her neck. "Nice try," the dual-toned voice said. "But you aren't fixing this."

Lauren sat and waited for a chance to make a move while the turian talked. He looked like he was talking into a personal comm. "Yeah, it's me Jetrus. We've got a snooper...move everything to go...now."

Lauren saw the engine in front of her start to emit a faint glow as the eezo in it was activated. "I guess you picked the wrong time to be on board...but your dark-haired friend would have no matter what. Maybe you thought no one would know who your friend was, but I do. The house of Vyrnnus will have its revenge. I suppose it's kind of a pathetic way to die...lying in the medbay. Turians should have never worked with hum..." Lauren quickly blazed in her own biotic corona, putting him into stasis, which made him drop his knife. She called out over her the shipwide comm, "Anyone who can hear my voice, shut the engine down NOW! The turian in the cockpit is trying to blow the ship up!"

Lauren ran into the cargo bay and quickly found some rope with which she tied up Jetrus before the stasis wore off. "Nice try," she sneered. "I just didn't feel like dying today." As she dragged him into the elevator, the engine powered down and he cursed. Lauren looked down at the turian, tied up and lying on the ground. "I knew Vyrnnus too. I'm glad he's dead, and you're lucky you aren't."

As the elevator opened, Kaidan stood there with Dr. Chakwas, both of them with pistols aimed at the door. Kaidan looked weak from the drugs. "What happened?" he asked.

Lauren was about to answer when she was cut off by Jetrus. "You! It was you! I swear I'll kill you, Kaidan Alenko! Everyone on Palaven knows your name!" Lauren kicked him in the stomach. "Shut the fuck up, or I'll miss and hit your face instead."

A group of military police arrived and took Jetrus and his partner away. Anderson had returned, a look of consternation on his face as Lauren told him about the plot to blow the ship. "This was supposed to be a peaceful partnership," he said. "Let's hope this was just a pair acting alone."

"I don't think they were after the ship, so much," said Lauren. "They were after Lt. Alenko." Lauren went on to tell him about their past on BAaT with Commander Vyrnnus.

Anderson's eyebrows lifted in interest. "I see. Your quick actions and instinct saved this whole project, Shepard. I'm going to be recommending you for a promotion. Get used to the title 'commander,'" he said.


	3. Chapter 3

Lauren started for the decon bay to leave the ship when she saw Kaidan leaning against the bulkhead there. It had been several hours since she had brought him to the medbay with a migraine, but he still looked tired.

"You ok, Kaidan? The doctor said I should help you home," she said.

"I'm ok...those drugs always do a number on me. I'm not even sure how I was steady enough to hold that pistol. Sorry about aiming it at you."

"I would have done the same thing. Honestly, it was pretty damn badass that you and the doc were ready for whomever came out." Lauren gave Kaidan an approving wink.

Kaidan smiled and they made their way slowly to the transport stop. "This really wasn't how I was planning to spend my evening," he said.

"What were you planning?"

"Well, certainly not this." His brow crinkled and he grabbed Lauren's shoulder to stop her in the hallway. "Thanks. I owe you one," he said quietly.

Lauren started walking again. "Does it bother you still? About Vyrnnus?"

"No, not like it did. I used to really hate myself for it. Now I just let it keep me under control."

Lauren was quiet. She understood. After Torfan, she felt the same way, and it was probably why she didn't throw Jetrus at the engine core.

"Just so you know...I have your back too," Lauren said, breaking the quiet finally as they reached the transport stop to wait.

Kaidan looked confused. "Ok?"

"A long time ago...back at Brain Camp, you told me you had my back when I wanted to find out what Conatix was up to. So I just wanted to tell you the same goes for me. You're my friend and I wouldn't let anyone hurt my friends."

"You have a good memory," he said. "I remember some of that, but not things I said really."

Lauren got a wicked look on her face. "That's because you were so wrapped up in Rahna."

Kaidan gave a sleepy chuckle. "Yeah, I guess I was. That feels like a lifetime ago."

The transport arrived and the pair boarded and sat down. Kaidan was having a hard time stifling his yawns. Lauren's gaze was on the floor. " You know you're being eyed to be on the Normandy's crew even though you haven't taken the time yet to voice interest?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Because a Sentinel specialist is a double benefit for the crew and since you're already working on the ship, you know what to do," she explained. "Anderson has given me a list of potential crew. You are on it, but he wants to hear my recommendations."

"I told you I'd think about it..." Kaidan said through a big yawn.

"You need to hurry."

"Mmmhmmm..." was all the answer she got from him. Lauren looked over to see Kaidan's eyes closed. He slumped over and his head fell on her shoulder.

"Just don't drool on me, all right?" Lauren whispered.

When the transport reached Kaidan's stop, Lauren tried to shake him awake, but found him very hard to rouse. "Come on, Kaidan, you are home!" she grunted as she lifted him up, placed his arm over her shoulder and forced him to walk.

She shook her head as he staggered along and she dragged him off the transport. "Kaidan!" she said loudly, but not shouting. "Which house is yours?"

Finally, he opened his eyes and pointed toward a gray house with a red door that had a backyard leading to the bay. He was walking by himself now, albeit slowly. Lauren reached the door first and rang the bell. An older woman answered. She was tall and slim. Her hair was dark with a few hints of gray. She looked at Lauren curiously.

"Hi, I'm Lauren Shepard. Kaid..."

"I had a migraine, Mom," Kaidan interrupted as he walked right by Lauren and his mother through the doorway.

The older woman gave a look of slight annoyance in Kaidan's direction. "I'm sorry he was so rude...Lauren, you said? I'm Ivy Alenko."

"Yes, ma'am. He wasn't being rude...he fell asleep on the transport and I think he's still under the influence of whatever the doc gave him."

"Is that why he's home so late? He's usually home by 7," Ivy said, holding her arm out to invite Lauren inside.

"No, ma'am...today has been an interesting day," answered Lauren, matter-of-factly. "The migraine was the least of anyone's problems."

"Oh? What happened?" Ivy's face was creased with concern.

"Some turians tried to sabotage something Kaidan was working on," Lauren said, choosing her words carefully. "They were trying to kill him apparently and almost killed a number of other people in the process, but we stopped them. Nobody was hurt and they've been taken into custody."

Ivy's hand was over her mouth in shock. "But _why_?"

Kaidan had reappeared in the living room where the women were sitting, looking a bit better, but his face was stern. "Revenge, Mom...for Vyrnnus."

"Oh my God...," Ivy said quietly.

"It's ok, Mom. Lauren alerted the crew and the turians are being dealt with. It's fine."

"I'm just...it's just so much, Kaidan. You've been through too much." Ivy's eyes were welled up with tears.

Kaidan leaned in, giving his mom a hug and a peck on the cheek. "I'm ok, Mom. I'm going to bed, ok?"

"All right, dear. Good night."

Lauren had been sitting quietly watching the scene unfold, then she stood. "I should probably go now too."

"No, wait, please?" Ivy said. "I just want to thank you."

"It's what any other soldier would do, ma'am."

"I know...my husband is Alliance too," Ivy smiled. "But this...with Kaidan, he's had so many close calls. I couldn't have any more children after him...the eezo exposure ruined that. But then that horrible turian and Conatix...his mix up with red sand...Akuze...and now this."

Lauren perked up. "Akuze? Kaidan was there?"

"Yes, he was the only one left. I can't imagine the horror he must have seen."

"I had heard some rumors about Akuze, but the records had been classified and I...holy shit." Lauren suddenly blushed at her language. "Sorry ma'am."

Ivy shook her head and chuckled. "I'm not a Navy wife who has never heard some language before. Anyway, what you've done for Kaidan...for me...means far more than you realize."

"You are welcome, ma'am. Kaidan is a great guy...he's a better man for all his struggles. I need to get home now. It is late."

Ivy opened the door for Lauren. "Thank you, Lauren, and good night."

Morning came too early for Lauren. As she sat once again on the transport, she was very drowsy. Even after the excitement at work, it wasn't the turians and their nefarious plot that kept her awake. She was up much of the night thinking about Kaidan and Akuze. _How do you deal with something like that? No wonder he doesn't want to be on the front lines._

Kaidan sat beside her, looking like sleep had been beneficial. "Hey," he said, looking kind of embarrassed. "I, uh, have something for you. From my mom." Kaidan handed her a paper note. "I told you my mom was traditional. She likes paper. Thinks it is more sentimental."

Lauren opened the note and read the flowing script.

**Lauren,**

**There isn't enough in this world to say my thanks to you again for saving my Kaidan. I'm inviting you to our house to be our guest of honor for Christmas next week, if you do not already have any plans. Please say you will come. It is the best way I know to convey mine and my husband's gratitude.**

**Sincerely,**  
**Ivy Alenko**

Kaidan looked at Lauren with curiosity. "What did it say?"

"You mean, you didn't read it?" Lauren teased.

"No, I'm a bit past that kind of kids stuff."

"Your mom invited me over for Christmas next week."

"Yeah...she would..." Kaidan muttered.

"Should I decline?" asked Lauren.

Kaidan sighed. "No...don't do that. My mom will be really disappointed if you don't come because our whole family will be there."

"Fine then. Tell her I'll be there. My parents are off-world right now anyway, vacationing on the Citadel."

"Be prepared," Kaidan cautioned.

"For what?" Lauren laughed. "It's a family get-together. Can't be that bad!"

x-X-x

As Lauren sat at the large table next to Kaidan, she began to feel his caution was warranted. She wasn't a touchy-feely person and she had been on the receiving end of more hugs than she cared to admit. But she wasn't truly bothered until the meal was over and she was introduced to one of Kaidan's grandmothers.

"Gram, this is Lauren Shepard. She serves with me at Alliance R&D," Kaidan said to the elderly woman.

"Hello," said Lauren, holding out her right hand in greeting.

Instead of taking it, the woman grabbed Lauren's left hand, seeing the ring on her finger. "Kaidan!" she chastised. "You didn't tell anyone you were engaged! Not even your own mother!"

Lauren pulled her hand back. "No, no, no...this isn't from Kaidan," she tried to explain.

"Well, you aren't his girlfriend?" the bewildered woman asked.

"No, Gram...she's just a fellow soldier. We're just friends." Kaidan looked apologetically at Lauren.

After a few more similar incidents, Lauren decided it was time for her to leave. She went to fetch her coat from a bedroom. Kaidan followed her in. "I'm really sorry," he said.

"It's not a problem, Kaidan...you did warn me." Lauren put on her coat.

"I'll walk you out at least," he said grabbing his own coat.

As the two walked toward the door, Ivy noticed them. "Are you leaving so soon, Lauren?"

"Yes, ma'am. It has been a long day and I'm supposed to catch my parents on vidcomm in a little while," Lauren said.

"Well, thank you for coming. I know everyone was glad to meet you," she replied and returned to the festivities.

Outside, a heavy snow had started to fall. Kaidan walked with Lauren to the transport stop. "So you still haven't taken that ring off," he said, touching her hand. Lauren felt the initial snap from the static charge they both gave off, but then she noticed a queer flutter in her stomach. She removed her hand from his.

"No...I guess I wasn't ready. Sorry about the embarrassment it caused." She gave him a half-smile.

Kaidan didn't know exactly why...it could have been because it was Christmas or the snow...but he had never seen Lauren this way before. He had always been kind of attracted to her from the moment he saw her again here in Vancouver, but it had been easy to push down and ignore. It was more of a "haven't gotten laid in years" sort of thing. Today, though, it wasn't so easy. He grabbed her hand again. "Maybe we should have lied and just let Gram believe it was true," he said playfully. "My mom would have died."

Lauren was smiling brightly. "You're mean, Kaidan Alenko, and I like that. We should have." His thumb rubbed over the top of her hand and suddenly, she realized what was probably on his mind. The smile fell from her face as she dropped his hand again. "Kaidan, I want you for a friend. Nothing more, ok?"

Kaidan swallowed and he felt a heat crawl up his neck. "No...yeah, I didn't mean anything by that. I was just messing around."

The transport finally arrived and Lauren got on without saying a word. Kaidan walked back to his house and thought that she was right and he could be ok with that, couldn't he?

Lauren sat as the transport pulled away and looked at her hand. She could still feel the warmth of Kaidan's hand holding hers, but she didn't want to. This wasn't the time. She'd let a man warp her thinking before, and what did it get her? A bad reputation in the galaxy and a groundside assignment. Now she finally had the chance to break free of Earth. She couldn't let a guy who probably would never leave the planet, good reasons or not, tie her down. Why couldn't he just be her friend and leave it at that?

**A/N: This chapter ended up a lot fluffier than I thought it would, but I love when the conversations just evolve. :) Thank you for the favorites and follows and especially the reviews! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I guess you guys felt bad for Kaidan! Me too. Lauren isn't very good with tact. This chapter was fueled by two One Republic songs, Counting Stars and If I Lose Myself. I think you'll find those themes running through this fun chapter. Enjoy! Thanks for the reviews!**

Lauren awoke early and got ready for work. Today they would be running in the combat simulator, just as they did several times a week. Normally that would make for a great day, but she hadn't been able to shake the funk she felt since she got home from the Alenko's house yesterday.

Kaidan hadn't really done anything that she should be upset about. He didn't say anything sappy or sentimental. She just had a gut feeling and shut him down just in case it was right. If she were honest with herself, she did care about him, but he was like her best friend. She valued the time they spent together talking everything and nothing, _but that was it_, she said to herself.

Stupid Kaidan...she was perfectly fine and over that old teenage crush she had had on him until he held her hand and looked at her that way. Now her thoughts strayed to those old emotions. He just had to go and mess things up. But there wasn't any two ways about it. She would see him again, she had to, so Lauren determined to act like nothing happened.

She opened up her console to check her messages and a new one appeared that caught her attention. It was from Anderson. It was an invitation for everyone on the _Normandy_ project to come to a New Year's Eve party. After the scare with the two rogue turians, Lauren agreed this would be good for morale. She typed in her acceptance quickly and grabbed her stuff to catch the early transport. Maybe then she wouldn't have to face Kaidan until they were at work.

x-X-x

Kaidan had barely slept and he felt stupid for it. His mind kept replaying those few moments that he was outside with Lauren. He had thought there was a flash of something in her eyes during the brief minute he held her hand. He hadn't tried to come off so strong, but he really didn't think he had...he thought he was just testing the water...only to find it too cold. She certainly made that clear.

But as she walked away onto the transport, she looked sad. Why did she look sad? Was she angry with him? After all this time of keeping himself so easily in check, did he let a snowy Christmas sentimental moment ruin their perfectly comfortable friendship?

He poured his coffee and let out an audible sigh.

"Good morning, Kaidan. Did you sleep well?" The deep voice of Aaron Alenko sounded behind him.

"Yeah, Dad...fine," Kaidan lied.

"Never got to say to you before you went to bed...that Lauren Shepard...what rank is she?"

"Commander. She's a commander now. Just promoted."

Aaron coughed. "Well, I was going to say she was a nice girl, despite your protestations that there was nothing between you, but I don't need to tell you she's your superior officer."

"I know, Dad." Kaidan was getting annoyed. He didn't need this today. "I need to get going. I don't want to be late." He left the house knowing he was actually running early. Maybe then he wouldn't have to face Lauren on the transport...until there she was sitting in the usual place.

Taking a breath, he sat down beside her. "Hey," he said, in a successful attempt at sounding normal.

"Hi Kaidan, thanks again for the nice day yesterday. My family was never much for celebrating Christmas and it was a nice change of pace."

"Yeah, my dad liked you. He told me so this morning." Kaidan found himself straining to think of something to say.

Lauren shifted in her seat. "So did you check your messages today? Did you see your invitation?"

Kaidan shook his head. "I kind of got up late."

"You're on the early transport with me," Lauren smiled.

He couldn't help but smile at being pointed out like that. "I just hadn't looked. What's it for?"

"Anderson is inviting everyone who has been involved with the _Normandy_ to a New Year's Eve party. I saw the words 'open bar,' and I was there. You are coming, right?" Lauren was glad for a pleasant subject to talk about, so she could just avoid everything from yesterday.

Raising his eyebrows, Kaidan finally smiled. "Open bar? Wow. Sounds like a party I shouldn't miss. Yeah, I'll be there."

x-X-x

Looking forward to the party kept Lauren distracted enough that she could act like a normal person with Kaidan. He wasn't acting like he was bothered by anything that had happened, so maybe she was overreacting. She wished sometimes that she could be a person who could just compartmentalize their emotions. It was something she would work on. It was a beneficial attribute for a soldier and would have served her well at Torfan.

The evening of New Year's Eve arrived and Anderson had secured a large club for the occasion. The atmosphere was joyful and the air was thick with excitement. Lauren had been to this club before, but it was even better knowing most of the people there. She walked over to the crowded bar where Anderson was standing being chatted up by a young soldier.

"Shepard!" he grinned. "Glad you could make it. Happy New Year! Looks like 2183 should be a damn good year."

"Absolutely," Lauren agreed. "Probably the best ever."

"This," Anderson said, motioning to the young soldier at his side, "is Corporal Richard Jenkins. He was just transferred here to Vancouver. He's young, but he's got ambition and was recommended to me for the Normandy's crew."

"Great to meet you, Jenkins," said Lauren.

Jenkins was awestruck. "The pleasure is mine, Commander Shepard. I've never met a soldier of your caliber before." Anderson cleared his throat at the comment and the young man immediately turned red. "Sorry, sir," Jenkins laughed nervously. "I just never expected you to be so...uh, young." He looked admiringly at Lauren, who tried to stifle a laugh.

"I'm humbled, Jenkins. Thanks." She took a drink and started to turn to face the dance floor, but was stopped by Kaidan, who had come up right up by her. "Oh, hey, Kaidan," she smiled.

"Hey," he replied. Seeing Anderson, Kaidan greeted him as well. "Good to see you, sir."

"At ease, Alenko," chuckled Anderson. "This is a party." Suddenly, Kaidan saw the young man standing beside the captain. "Wow, I never thought I'd run into you," Jenkins said with a haunted look. "You're Kaidan Alenko?"

"Yeah," Kaidan said, his own look incredulous. "And you are?"

"I'm Rich. Rich Jenkins. You were friends with my older brother, Robert."

"He was my friend. I-I'm so sorry," Kaidan said, momentarily racked with survivor's guilt again over Akuze.

"No, don't be. I'm just glad to meet the man who he said saved our farm on Eden Prime." Jenkins was geniune.

Lauren and Anderson looked to each other and remained quiet as the two men traded memories about Robert Jenkins. When they finished, Kaidan looked to Anderson and said, "Sir, can I speak with you privately?"

Anderson nodded and the two stepped away from Lauren and Jenkins. "I may be a little late, sir, and I understand if you say no," said Kaidan, "but I would like to serve aboard the_ Normandy_."

x-X-x

The evening moved swiftly along and even the initial somber tone Kaidan had taken was relaxed after several drinks. Lauren, herself buzzing, found a place out on the dance floor with several of the young corporals, including Jenkins. Kaidan was watching from his vantage point at the bar and noticed what a terrible dancer she was. He couldn't help laughing as her arms waved wildly.

He finished his drink and went out to the floor, his mission to keep those flailing arms from hurting any of other people around her. As he got near Lauren, he grabbed her arms and pulled them down. She looked at him, her face flushed and her eyes shining and a huge smile on her face. "Have you come to dance with me too?" she shouted over the music.

Kaidan was going to say he was there to save her from herself, but thought better of it. "Yeah, just keep your hands on my shoulders." Lauren complied and she could feel the hum of his biotics with hers, the alcohol having worn down her built-up ability to ignore it. He put his hands just above her waist, so it couldn't be said he was touching her too familiarly. He was just trying to guide her awkwardly moving body to some semblance of rhythm with the music.

Just as Kaidan was mentally giving Lauren up as a lost cause to ever being a graceful dancer, the dj announced that it was one minute until midnight. Lauren hooted loudly taking her hands off of Kaidan to clap with everyone else in the crowd. Kaidan was more intoxicated than he wanted to be and he found his control faltering again when he remained by Lauren's side as everyone started to count down to the new year.

"3...2...1...Happy New Year!" Lauren shouted with everyone else and to no one in particular. As many of the soldiers paired up to kiss, Lauren glanced around, seeing a few available men. She decided to be a good leader (in her drunk mind) and give equal treatment.

Kaidan started to back away as Lauren gave kisses to the other men who had been dancing around her. An enamored Jenkins grabbed her tightly and held her a bit longer than the rest. When Lauren broke the kiss, she said loudly, "That's the spirit, Jenkins!" She turned just before Kaidan got out of range. "Oh no, you don't!" she exclaimed, grabbing his hand tightly and pulling him close.

Placing her hands on his face, she pulled his lips to hers. It happened in just a second, but time graciously slowed down in Kaidan's mind. Her lips were warm, slightly firm. He wanted to yield to a deeper kiss, but their parting said that wasn't going to happen. Her hands were now on his arms and his arms somehow were wound tightly around her waist, holding their bodies together. His heart was pounding and he feared that sad look again, so he dropped her quickly. To his surprise, Lauren only backed up a half step, her hands taking his.

She didn't take her bright eyes away from his as she said to the other guys standing around. "This is why the _Normandy_ will be the best damn ship in the fleet! Enthusiastic soldiers ready to take on any challenge!" Kaidan wondered if he only imagined the veiled encouragement she gave him.

That night both Lauren and Kaidan slept soundly, invading each other's dreams.


	5. Chapter 5

Lauren rolled over and groaned. Her stomach turned and her head pounded. "A little too much party," she mumbled to no one, as she tried to rise from her bed. After a few failed attempts, she stood and padded toward the bathroom of her small apartment. Before she got there, something caught her eye...more specifically, some_one_. Lauren saw a man sprawled out on her couch.

She quietly stepped toward the sleeping form. His hair was dark and Lauren closed her eyes in disbelief. "Oh shit..." she whispered. She started to shake his bare shoulder. "Kaidan...wake up!"

Kaidan turned his head to face Lauren. He didn't look shocked or upset. Didn't he know what must have happened? Lauren was mentally cursing herself for getting so hammered. "Kaidan!" she quietly shrieked. "Why are you here?"

"Are you feeling better?" he said without answering her question.

She sat in exasperation by his feet. "No...just...Oh my God! No! What the hell are you doing here?"

Kaidan yawned the longest yawn ever and Lauren nearly shut his mouth for him in frustration. "I was about to leave the party last night and I thought you had already left," explained Kaidan. "But I found you at the transport stop passed out. I picked you up and brought you home. You were surprisingly coherent on the ride over, so you told me where you lived. When we got here, you started vomiting all over...including on my shirt. I stuck it in the wash and helped you to bed. I cleaned up your mess and fell asleep out here."

Relief began to calm Lauren's rapid heartbeat. "So nothing happened?"

"Besides you barfing on me? No." Kaidan smiled in a way that Lauren couldn't help but being irritated with herself for finding it disarmingly handsome.

"Ok...did anyone see you take me home?"

Kaidan laughed. "I had to make sure Jenkins got home too. He was kind of attached to you starting at oh...I would say 5 seconds after you made your rounds at midnight."

"Oh my God..." Lauren rubbed her temples. "When did we leave?"

"I'd say 4...You and Jenkins were outside together at the transport stop, but asleep. Good thing you weren't alone, you could have frozen."

Dread refilled Lauren. "Please tell me..."

"You behaved yourself with him...mostly. Your dancing was...uh, suggestive, but you were both lit up pretty good, so I doubt he remembers much either. And you weren't exclusive with him...if that helps."

Lauren hands covered her face. "No, Kaidan, that doesn't help."

"At least you made it easy to get you into your pajamas..." Kaidan was sitting up now and thoroughly enjoying himself.

"Why didn't you just leave me in my clothes?"

"Fine. You want to sleep in your vomit. I'll remember next time." His tone was definitely a little shorter as he stood and walked to a closet to retrieve his now clean shirt from the machine. "I'll be going then."

Lauren hated the way she felt...all conflicted. She didn't want him there, but she didn't want him to leave either, and she definitely didn't want him to put his shirt back on. Her way of dealing with it was to sit there and say nothing.

She kept saying nothing as he pulled on his shoes, folded the blanket he had used and got his coat. When he finally reached the door, she met him there. "Thank you," she said quietly as she grabbed his forearm.

Kaidan's stern look thawed slightly. "Don't mention it." He was close...close enough that it jogged Lauren's foggy memory of the previous night. She had kissed him...as well as several other soldiers, but they hadn't had the same effect on her because she wanted to kiss him again...wait, didn't she tell him she wanted to just stay friends? _Shit._

Her eyes scanned his face, searching for a way past her own words. His eyes seemed inscrutable, his face betrayed no emotion. "I.." _I want you to stay, I don't want you to leave._.."I'll see you tomorrow, Kaidan," she said finally, letting go of his arm.

"Yep. Bye, Lauren." He walked away and Lauren closed the door. She quietly banged her forehead against it in turmoil. "You stupid dumbass," she cursed herself. "Fucking, fucking idiot. I'm never drinking again..."

x-X-x

Kaidan arrived at home to be greeted by his mother in the living room. "You were out all night?" she asked. "Must have been some party..."

"Yeah, you could say so. I have to tell you something though..." Kaidan was interrupted by his father, who entered the room.

"What's that?" said Aaron Alenko.

"I...requested to be a part of the _Normandy_'s crew when she takes off. Capt. Anderson approved it, so when everything is ready, I'll be leaving Earth."

Aaron nodded his head approvingly. "That's good news. I'm proud that you're taking initiative to reach for something like this. This is a good assignment, Kaidan."

Ivy looked a little sad, but smiled nonetheless. "I'm glad for you, dear. I'm glad you aren't letting your past hold you back."

Kaidan smiled knowing it was his past that had a integral part in building this new future.

x-X-x

"Shepard, here's the final crew list," said Anderson, handing Lauren a datapad. "There were a few surprises on there...like that pilot you seem to know. He's an arrogant little shit, but I'll be damned if he doesn't deserve to be. He's got talent."

Lauren chuckled at Anderson's succint assessment of Joker's little stunt in which he actually stole the _Normandy_ and outmaneuvered everyone trying to catch him. "Joker does have an ornery streak," Lauren replied.

"I'll be honest. The biggest surprise was Lt. Alenko," the captain said. "I wanted him, but he had seemed to show no interest until New Year's Eve, a few weeks ago. I completely understood his desire for an Earthside assignment after Akuze, so I wasn't expecting him to ask me to join the crew that night...or ever for that matter. Did you have a hand in that?"

"No, sir, I don't believe I did," said Lauren. "It was as much a surprise to you as to me. I talked to him about it months ago, but got nowhere."

"Well, no matter, with his experience, I'm putting him in charge of crew productivity. He'll answer directly to you," stated Anderson. "Most of the crew is there to make sure all the systems running the ship are working properly. His eye for tech will be a benefit for him and he'll be able to see when someone isn't performing to their utmost. His biotics will be useful in a fight, as well as his field medic skills...you know it's a small crew so everyone has to commit to at least double duty."

"Yes, sir..." Lauren was glad Kaidan was on the crew, but that hadn't helped the awkwardness she now felt around him. It was like BAaT all over again. She wished she didn't have to talk to him, but now as his superior officer, she had to.

"You are in charge of the armory. Procure weapons, armor, tech as needed. You'll also be leading any ground teams. We have a few grunt soldiers, like Jenkins and Gladstone," said Anderson, looking pleased. "This is shaping up real nice, Shepard. We've come a long way in a short amount of time. I think we'll be ready for launch next week."

**A/N: Before you get upset...I never said where Lauren and Kaidan slept soundly at the end of the last chapter :) Thus ends the introductory chapters...we shall start with the beginning of ME1 soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

Last minute preparations were underway. Even Anderson found himself pitching in with the manual labor along with everyone else. He was smiling broadly as he carted a dolly full of food. "Everything set for launch?" he asked Lauren, who was passing him going the opposite way.

She looked down at her datapad. "Almost. I think we're missing a cartload of food," she answered teasingly, patting thee boxes he pushed. "You know where they go?" she laughed.

"I think I can find storage," Anderson chuckled as he walked away. "Check with Alenko and see that all systems are ready," he called back after her.

Lauren turned to find Kaidan walking quickly past her and toward Anderson. "Sir!" he called as he caught up with the captain. "You have a comm from the Citadel. It's the Council. They said it is urgent and private."

Anderson stopped and nodded. "Thank you, I'll be in the comm room. Shepard, can you get this packed away?"

"Yes, sir." Sliding the datapad she was holding into her pocket, she took up the dolly and started pushing it onto the loading bay. "Alenko, come with me."

Kaidan walked beside her as they moved rapidly across the deck. He knew what she wanted before she asked, so he started, "Everything is checking out, Commander. The crew is all accounted for, Lt. Adams says the ships systems are all running green. I would estimate about one hour and we'll be all set for launch."

"Thanks...but I was going to ask you about that comm. What does the Council want?"

Kaidan shrugged his shoulders. "It was just one of their executive assistants that I spoke to. If the Councillors wanted to talk to Anderson, they didn't want to give anything away."

Lauren and Kaidan arrived where the food was stored. Lauren started to place a box on a shelf, but Kaidan stopped her. "Commander, this box goes over here." He took the box from her arms and placed it on a different shelf.

Clearning her throat, Lauren looked amusedly at Kaidan. "Are you in charge of mess too?"

"Ah, no. I don't really cook, but I do organize. Mess Sergeant Chase said she expected an orderly pantry, even on a small ship. She gave me the guidelines and I made sure it happened." Kaidan pointed to another shelf. "That box goes over there. It's perishables."

"Of course," Lauren smirked.

The ship's on-board comm sounded. "Commander Shepard, please meet me in the comm room." The voice was unmistakably Anderson's.

"Sorry, Kaidan...I mean, Lt. Alenko, you're going to have to finish putting away the groceries yourself," Lauren laughed. Kaidan just snorted in response.

In the comm room, Anderson no longer looked jovial. He nodded at Lauren as she approached. "Shepard, we're going to be making a slight diversion before we head to Eden Prime. We'll be picking up a passenger. We'll rendezvous with the _PFS Havincaw_ before we head through the Charon Relay."

Lauren's curiosity was already piqued and this just added interest. "Isn't that a turian ship, sir?"

"Yes, it is. That is all I can tell you now, but I want you to get these coordinates to Navigator Pressly. He'll get it into the galaxy map so Lt. Moreau has the location." Anderson handed her a datapad.

"Lt. Alenko said we can be ready to launch in an hour."

"Fine. This rendezvous is our top priority...time is of the essence," Anderson said firmly. "Now if you would excuse me..." He turned back toward the comm, and Lauren took the hint and left the room. She saw Charles Pressly at his station and gave him the pad. The older man looked at the pad then eyed Lauren. He shook his head. "This is a strange place to go," he said.

"Anderson said it's top priority," replied Lauren authoritatively. She could tell that he was not used to serving under someone this much younger than he was.

"I understand, Commander. We usually rendezvous with ships in areas that have landing zones...this is just the middle of space." Pressly sighed and entered the coordinates, double-checking his work. "We're set to go...make sure Moreau knows what's going on."

As Lauren walked toward the cockpit, she saw the crew settling in to their workstation. It was a pleasant feeling, being busy and excited about what might lay ahead. The _Normandy_ really was a spectacular ship and she was pretty sure that everyone on board felt just as honored as she did to be part of her crew.

Joker was sitting in the pilot's seat, running his pre-flight checklists. He felt someone come up beside him and smiled when he saw it was Lauren. "Hey..._Commander_," he snickered, drawing out her title.

"Stuff it, Joker," Lauren said, her expression only slightly serious. "This is business. We are making a rendezvous before we head through the relay. Pressly just entered the coordinates for you."

Joker pulled up a screen to see the navigation chart. "Ok...got it. In the middle of nowhere?"

"We're picking up a passenger," answered Lauren. "Don't really know how much more I can say, so that's all you're getting."

"Fine, I see how it is." Joker glanced up and grinned. Lauren put a hand on his shoulder. "Just remember I am your XO."

"Yeah, yeah, and I've already got my finger on the real pulse of the _Normandy_...ship scuttlebutt...so see if I tell you anything."

"Just tell me if it involves me," ordered Lauren.

Just then Kaidan entered the cockpit and took the co-pilot's seat. Lauren looked at him in surprise. She had really underestimated him. "Alenko, you fly the ship too?" she said.

"Ah, no..." he said with a little embarrassment, "this station allows me to see everything that's going on with the ship. Keeps an eye on engine performance, the cooling systems, the stealth systems. Some redundancies from the pilot's station, but I did help design the interface though, which is why I'm here. But Joker's the only pilot...I mean, I could if I had to, in case of an emergency."

"I'm impressed," Lauren said candidly. "Well, I should go. Looks like you two have everything under control."

She walked away and Joker turned slightly to watch her leave. "You know we've got like the hottest commander in the fleet, right?" he said to Kaidan.

Kaidan coughed slightly in surprise. "The_ hottest_ commander?"

"Yeah, she and I had a thing way back," Joker bragged. "We used to serve on the Emden together. It just didn't work out."

"_You_ had a thing?" Kaidan feigned disinterest. "What happened?"

"Oh...she had a guy back on Earth, I guess. Things just heated up with him or something, but then he was killed by batarians in the Blitz. She was never the same." Joker shifted in his seat and looked at Kaidan. "Some people think she's a loose cannon after Torfan, but I think it was justified. I mean, if I could, I'd do the same thing."

Kaidan pondered his words before speaking, and decided to just change subjects slightly. "How well do you know the commander?"

"Well, first of all, her name is Lauren...and I would say pretty well. She confides in me about things," Joker said proudly.

"And yet you still ogle her?" Kaidan teased.

"I am a man with eyes still," Joker said as he lapsed into a rhapsody. "The skin tight armor cradling those curves and that fine, tight ass..."

"Ok, that's enough," Kaidan said firmly. He swallowed to calm his own wandering mind. "She is our XO...it's not very respectful."

"Psh, Lauren and I have never been very formal. I'm not really about to start."

Anderson's voice sounded at the pilot's console. "Joker, we're set. Let's get this show on the road."

"Yes, sir," Joker answered before hitting the ship's comm. "Everyone, this is your pilot, Flight Lt. Jeff Moreau, prepare for take off. We're about to see what this baby can do." He winked at Kaidan at that last informality. He received a shaking head in response.

After launching, Joker relaxed a little and looked back to Kaidan. "So what's your opinion on Laur-I mean, Commander Shepard?"

A sigh escaped Kaidan's lips as he turned his eyes toward Joker. "You're back on this again?"

"Come on, Alenko! We gotta have something to talk about...I just had you pegged as a guy who did all right with the ladies. You have that quiet, brooding thing going on. Girls dig that."

"I'm not much of a ladies man, I guess. Sorry to disappoint."

"Oh," Joker said quickly. "Hey, if guys are your thing...that's cool. Sorry, man."

Kaidan was going to correct him, but then thought better of it. "It's fine. I just don't discuss my personal life on duty."

Joker, however, was not completely deterred. "So then what's your professional opinion of the commander?"

"I think she is a very capable officer. Passionate, determined, loyal, smart."

"Passionate? That's an interesting description."

"She seems to pour herself into her duty...just like you are passionate about this ship."

"Hmm, fair enough. But I think you still have yet to really get to know her," said Joker, as he went quiet for a moment. "We'll be at our rendezvous coordinates in 5 minutes, Captain," Joker said into the comm.

"Fine, prepare the airlock for docking," Anderson replied. "I'll be up there in a minute."

As Joker guided the ship into its parallel position with the _Havincaw_, Kaidan readied the airlock. Anderson arrived just as docking was complete. He stood at the doorway and waited. Both Kaidan and Joker couldn't help but turn themselves slightly in their seats to see who was boarding.

A dark skinned turian boarded and Kaidan couldn't help the slight apprehension he felt. The resemblance to Vyrnnus was disquieting, so Kaidan turned himself back to face his workstation. Maybe someday turians wouldn't bother him...but not today.

Anderson placed his arm across his chest in a turian greeting. "Spectre Nihlus, it's good to meet you," the captain said. He guided the turian away.

"A Spectre?" Joker gasped as soon as the pair was out of earshot. "Holy shit."

Kaidan was working the controls to release the docking mechanisms and just gave pilot a quick eyebrow raise in agreement. It was highly unusual for a Spectre to come along on a simple shakedown run.

"Well, let's get to that relay," stated Joker. "Next stop Eden Prime."

x-X-x

Lauren was in the captain's quarters sitting at a table with Anderson and the turian Spectre. "Shepard, this is Nihlus Kryik. He is joining us on the _Normandy's_ maiden voyage..." Anderson seemed to be hesitant in speaking. "Since the Council has a vested interest in the project...they want an objective eye. Nihlus was the nearest Spectre, so he was assigned to be that observer. We have a few hours to reach the Charon Relay. Check out the crew and see that the stealth systems are running smoothly and ready to go. We'll be testing them out when we get past the relay."

The door quickly closed behind Lauren after she walked out of the room. "Strange..." she muttered and headed down to engineering. After checking with Adams that the internal emissions sinks were primed for optimal performance, she walked back into the storage area and checked out the Mako.

"Can't wait to take you out for a little spin," she said to the truck, patting its side. When she turned toward the elevator, Nihlus was standing there, arms folded, just looking at her. Getting on the elevator, she gave him a nod. The turian did not respond.

On the crew deck, Lauren checked in the Dr. Chakwas. "How are you settling in?" she asked.

"Oh, just fine, Commander," the doctor said. "It is quite a feat of engineering, this ship."

"Agreed. I've never seen an engine like this before."

"I'm sure that is true, but I was talking about the interior. This is one of the largest medbays I've worked in. I don't know what's missing to give me so much room, but let's hope it wasn't important." Chakwas lightly chuckled at her own joke. "Anything you need, Commander?"

"No, I just checking in..." Lauren paused. "I'm sure you saw the turian?"

"Indeed, lucky for him I have a little expertise in turian physiology. I try to keep myself apprised of other races...just in case. But I don't think that's what you meant, is it, Commander?"

"Not really, I just wondered if you knew any more than I did about why he is here?"

"A Council Spectre? Your guess is as good as mine."

"Well, thanks anyway, Doc. I'll see you around," Lauren said as she left. And there was Nihlus again, eyeing her wordlessly from across the mess. Lauren was starting to feel a little self-conscious. She walked back to Anderson's quarters and pushed the summoning button. The doors swished open and Lauren walked in. Anderson was sitting as his desk alone.

"The IES is at optimum, sir. We're ready for stealth operation after the jump," she reported.

Anderson grunted an affirmation. "Head up to the cockpit. I'm sure we're nearly to the relay."

Nihlus was gone when Lauren exited the captain's quarters. _Finally_, she thought._ Guy just got on the ship and I already feel like he's breathing down my neck._ She wove her way through the crew making her way up the stairs and across the CIC to see Nihlus standing in the cockpit behind Joker.

"The Arcturus Prime relay is in range. Initiating transmission sequence," Lauren could hear the pilot say. "We are connected. Calculating transit mass and destination. The relay is hot. Acquiring destination vector. All stations secure for transit. Board is green...approach run has begun."

Lauren was in the cockpit beside Nihlus as the ship was caught in the relay's pull. Her skin tingled, the effects of the eezo core of the relay with her biotics. She rubbed her arm to discharge some of the static. She looked over to see Kaidan do the same, as well as run his hand through his hair.

As Joker engaged the stealth systems, he spouted off his post-jump checklist, ending with, "Drift, just under 1500k." Lauren rolled her eyes._ Always the braggart._

Nihlus didn't seem impressed. "1500. That's good. Your captain will be pleased," was his dry reply. Then he turned on his heel and walked away.

"Ass," Joker mumbled. Kaidan looked back at Lauren, who just gave him a bemused smile.

"Problem?" Kaidan asked.

"Yeah, there's a Spectre on board. I don't like him and I'm sure as hell he doesn't like me."

"He's been up here, what, maybe five minutes? How can you tell?"

"I don't know," said Joker. "Just call me a good judge of character. Something's not right here. Spectres don't come on shakedown runs..."

Lauren piped in. "He's been on my ass the whole time. Tailing me, watching me, it's..." She was interrupted by Anderson's voice on Joker's comm. "Joker! Status report."

"Sir, we just cleared the relay. We are running silent. Thirty minutes to Eden Prime," Joker said.

"Good, have Lt. Alenko send reports to Alliance brass before we reach the planet...oh, and tell Commander Shepard to report to the comm room...for a debriefing."

Joker gave Lauren a smarmy smile. "Good luck with that."

**A/N: Now we are into the beginning, so just sit back and enjoy the ride...thank you for the favorites, follows and reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

Lauren's hands were automatically putting her armor on while her brain was busy processing everything that had happened in the last 20 minutes. Anderson and that turian Spectre Nihlus dropped two major bombs into her life and a third was sprung on them all. The first...a Prothean artifact was waiting to be picked up on Eden Prime. Lauren didn't know her history that well, but she did know that the last time something was found, it was on Mars. It was that artifact that alerted humans to the mass relays and how to use them, on eezo and how to harness its power for space travel...and, she guessed, _probably how eezo can create biotics_.

The second shock was that they were looking at her to be the first human Spectre? Lauren shook her head at the ludicrous idea. She was relieved that was quickly forgotten when the comm came in from Eden Prime. It looked like war zone there, but what was that ship that was landing? Who was it? Even Anderson and Nihlus were speechless. Lauren hoped there would be something and someone left to save.

She started pulling her boots and thought about how she was not looking forward to working with Nihlus on anything. She didn't really have anything against turians as a race, but Nihlus...he...Lauren's thoughts were distracted as she noticed what was in front of her eyes. Anderson had told her to take Kaidan and Jenkins as their ground team. The two men were gearing up as well. The Normandy, like all other Alliance ships, didn't have separate rooms for men and women soldiers. They all just changed together, showered together and that was it. Only using the actual head itself was there ever any privacy. It hadn't been an issue to Lauren since maybe the first week of boot camp, but she got over her reservations and did what she had to do.

She had never had to get ready around Kaidan Alenko before...she diverted her eyes quickly away from where they had stopped, watching the fine muscles of his back and shoulders move as he put on the thin underlayer of his own armor. Jenkins wasn't such a bad looking guy either, as her eyes moved to him instead. His face was friendly, he was pleasantly tall...Lauren was always a sucker for tall guys. With both of these nice-looking men, she began to question for the first time the wisdom of the integrated sexes on a ship. Had she just never paid attention before? Today wasn't the day to start, so Lauren pushed those straying thoughts down and slid on her helmet.

x-X-x

Kaidan watched Lauren walk by, and she looked vexed. He knew things were bad down on Eden Prime so he understood. Jenkins was nearly ready as well, and Kaidan found himself visually checking over Jenkins' armor to make sure it was all on properly and in good working order. Ever since he saw Jenkins at the New Year's party, Kaidan felt protective of him. His older brother, Robert, had become a close friend...one of the few he actually confided in. Robert was so genial and easy to get along with that Kaidan couldn't help but like him.

Ever since Robert, along with the majority of those he had served with, died on Akuze, Kaidan carried the guilt of surviving. It would come and go in waves as time passed, but Rich Jenkins made it come crashing down on him like a lead weight. He was so much like his older brother, so outgoing and ambitious. He was ready to face anything and anyone. Kaidan, however, felt like he needed to be his surrogate big brother. He knew the real reason he had requested to be on the Normandy was to protect Jenkins. Now that the guy's home planet was under attack, Kaidan felt an even greater burden for Jenkins.

Jenkins turned for the loading bay and Kaidan grabbed the younger man's shoulder. "Your shield circuitry isn't connected right," said Kaidan. With a quick click, the soldier's armor was set. "Oh, thanks," said Jenkins. "That could have been bad."

x-X-x

When they landed in the drop zone, Jenkins saw the indigenous gas bags floating about. He always liked them. He would play with them as a child. They were brainless, but they seemed to like attention of being bounced around by the colony kids. The place they dropped was a typical area where the kids and the gas bags would gather to play, but no one was there. It was odd. The air smelled funny. Alenko had said it was like "smoke and death." Jenkins really didn't know what death smelled like, but he sure didn't like this. He worried about his family. Their farm was about 10 klicks away.

As they moved their way toward where the beacon had been found, they came to a ridge. Something appeared on their navscreens...Shepard, Alenko and Jenkins crouched behind cover. Jenkins watched as Shepard made eye contact with him. He felt a little prickle of heat up his neck...just for a split second. She was probably the most beautiful woman he had ever met. He couldn't help but be struck by her. He watched her hand point for him to move ahead. He gave a slight nod and stood, his gun drawn and ready.

Two drones came flying out from behind a treed area. Although he had extensive training, his actual combat experience was limited and seeing two attack drones on his home planet...Jenkins froze.

x-X-x

_What is he doing?_ Lauren thought as the first drone appeared and Jenkins' feet didn't move. She saw the energy waver from his shields being struck by the bullets and the man crumpled to the ground. She acted quickly using a couple perfectly-aimed shots to take out both drones. She saw Kaidan running to the place where Jenkins was now sprawled out on the trail.

"Jenkins!" Kaidan shouted, gently slapping the man's face.

The other soldier's eyes fluttered open. "Never been shot at before," he said, smiling weakly. Kaidan breathed a sigh of relief. He quickly glanced over his body. There were no suit breaches...Jenkins was probably just knocked out by the force of the bullets off his shields.

"You can't just stand there and let yourself get shot at either," said Lauren, her voice harsh. "You are goddamn lucky."

Kaidan helped Jenkins stand and the younger man looked a little shaken, but ok. "Yes, ma'am," said Jenkins. "It won't happen again." He looked back toward Kaidan as Lauren lead the team forward. "I owe you big...I could have been cut down right there if you hadn't have fixed my armor."

There were some more drones hiding out in the wooded area they walked through, but those were easily disposed. Coming into a little valley where the navpoint said the dig site wasn't terribly far off in the distance, a woman was running toward them. She was being chased by...geth? Lauren had never actually seen any geth before. They were told about them and shown diagrams in N-school, but their presence had never been an issue in any human colonies.

Lauren sent Kaidan and Jenkins to opposite sides to flank the synthetic enemies and she went up the middle, appreciative that Anderson had sent Kaidan with them. As he froze the geth with his overload capabilities, Lauren and Jenkins could easily finish them off with a shot or two.

"Man, am I glad to see someone human," the woman soldier said, coming out from her cover. "I was out of ammunition." She straightened as she saw Lauren's N7 insignia. "Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212, ma'am."

"Williams, I'm Commander Lauren Shepard of the _Normandy_. This is Lt. Alenko and Cpl. Jenkins. What the hell is going on here?"

"I'm not sure ma'am, but we were just out there in the clearing, running some basic maneuvers when this...this thing, came out of the sky. We ran toward the colony, but it was chaos. We were overrun before we even had a chance to fight back. I came back this way because I was being chased...I think...I think I'm the only one left, ma'am." Williams' head dropped at the realization.

Kaidan wanted to say something...he knew how this Williams was feeling. Shock, fear, guilt, anger even. His tongue, though, wouldn't cooperate.

"We're here to find this artifact...this beacon that was dug up," said Lauren.

"The dig site is at the end of this valley. Request permission to join you, ma'am," said Williams.

Lauren looked at the tall woman. She looked tough, though tired. She had seen rough things...just the kind of person they needed with them. Handing Williams her assault rifle, Lauren said, "Take us to the site, chief."

x-X-x

Nihlus was dead, the beacon wasn't at the dig site, and there are geth running amok. _This is turning out to be one hell of a shitty day_, thought Lauren. A frightened dockworker pointed them toward where the beacon had been moved so it could be loaded onto the Normandy easily...that is, until the geth attacked. Disarming some bombs proved easy enough, but the geth proved to be some heavy resistance to their arriving at the loading dock.

The beacon was tall, at least 5 meters high, and giving off a green, radiating light. Lauren hit her comm and told the _Normandy_ they were ready for pick up, but to alert Anderson that Nihlus was dead and that his body would be needed to be transported.

"I told you Spectres were trouble," said Joker in the comm.

"Joker, this isn't time for comedy. Get your ass down here. Here's the navpoint," Lauren ordered.

"Yes, ma'am...ETA 5 minutes."

"Copy that, 5 min...oh SHIT!" Lauren yelled, and her comm went dead.

"Commander...Commander! Lauren!" Joker called back. Silence...after an excruciating minute or two another female voice came through the comm line.

"_Normandy_, this is Gunnery Chief Williams. Commander Shepard is down, I repeat, Commander Shepard is in need of immediate medical attention!"

**A/N: Yeah...so I strayed far from canon on this...sort of :) I'm going to do my best not to just run missions, but rather write around them...or at least not just game content. We know the game, right? Thank you for the favorites, follows and as always, the reviews!**


	8. Chapter 8

Lauren opened her eyes. Everything was fuzzy and the light was too bright. As she regained her focus, she realized she was in the medbay of the _Normandy_. She started to sit up and saw the kind face of Dr. Chakwas. "Glad to see you're awake, Commander," she said quietly.

Lauren brought her arm up to shade her sensitive eyes. "Can you dim the lights?"

"Of course." As the lights faded to a more tolerable level, Lauren swung her legs over the side of the bed and leaned forward, her face in her hands.

"How long was I out, Doc?"

Chakwas was standing close, checking Lauren's vital signs. "About 15 hours." She paused to write enter something into her datapad. "You look like you'll be ok, but you did have some strange readings while you were out...like you were dreaming, perhaps?"

Flashes of memory raced through Lauren's brain. Blood. Screaming. Slaughter. Desperation. Death. "I don't know. I remember seeing something when I was in the beacon's grasp. Whatever it was, it was horrible."

Just then the door opened and Lauren turned to see Kaidan enter the medbay. He smiled at her when he saw she was upright. "I just came in to check on our patient," he said, a hint of a joke in his voice and relief on his face. "I see she must be fine."

"Indeed," answered Chakwas. She turned to Lauren. "Kaidan stabilized you on the dock. Your breathing was shallow and erratic, heartrate off the charts. If he hadn't been there...well, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Lauren rubbed her temples. Her head was starting to pound in spite of the dimmed light. "What exactly happened?"

Kaidan noticed Lauren's pain and moved closer so he could speak quietly. "It was partially my fault. I'd never seen working Prothean tech before...I was using my omni-tool to try and get some readings...something I could look over on my down time, before we brought it to the Citadel and I lost my opportunity. Jenkins was just as interested as I was, but he's more of a hands-on guy."

Kaidan shook his head at the memory. "I should have never even bothered with it...Jenkins took a few steps closer and was pulled toward the beacon. I don't know how...I shouted and started toward him, but you rushed past, pushed me away and tackled the guy. Somehow I grabbed him and you were pulled back. It held you in midair for...maybe two minutes. Then the beacon exploded, threw you down." His quiet voice had gotten to barely above a whisper and he was looking at the ground, shame evident on his face. "My stupid curiosity...nearly got you killed."

"I thought you said it was Jenkins..." Lauren started.

"You did save him...but I didn't follow protocol. I messed where I shouldn't have messed. He was only following my lead. I'm his superior officer. I'd understand if you or Capt. Anderson give me a reprimand."

"We'll talk about that later, Kai-um, Lieutenant," said Lauren, catching herself on proper formality.

"Yes, ma'am. If you'll excuse me, Commander...Doctor," said Kaidan as he walked back out of the medbay.

The door closed behind him and he walked slowly to the table and sat down. He let out a huge sigh as a weight lifted off his shoulders. He hadn't realized he had fallen asleep until he felt a tap on his arm. He looked up. It was Ashley Williams.

"Hey there, L-T," she said, sitting across from him. "How's the commander?"

"Oh, hey...she's going to be fine. She's awake now. How are you doing?"

"I'm ok, I guess. I just...I can't believe everyone is gone. Kemp, Bhatia, Hennessy..." Ashley turned in embarrassment at her tears. "I'm a marine. I should be able to handle this."

Kaidan reached his hand out to cover Ashley's. "You will handle this. It isn't easy, but it can be done. I know you barely know me, but trust me when I say I've been there, so if you ever want to talk..."

Ashley pulled her hand back to quickly wipe her eyes. She smiled and nodded. "Thanks, L-T...I just might." She looked over at the medbay windows. "Captain Anderson is in there now. What do you think they'll do with me?"

"Well, I've recommended that you stay on the _Normandy_. I'm sure if Anderson has read my report, he'll agree. Shepard probably will too. I'd get comfortable if I were you."

"I guess I owe you one," Ashley smiled. "I really needed a place to land right away. It's not always easy being transferred around, shuffled from assignment to assignment and I've had my share."

"The Alliance can be...accomodating to those soldiers who have been through something like this," Kaidan said, with a knowing look. "Let me know if you don't want to stay aboard."

"No...thanks...I do want to stay. Where should I make myself useful?"

Kaidan motioned back to the elevator shaft behind his head. "Take that down to the cargo area. That's where we have the armory. It might seem basic, but to have someone available to care for our weapons would be a real benefit."

"I know I keep saying this, but thanks again...I'm sorry, I forgot your name too."

"It's Kaidan...Kaidan Alenko. Glad to have you aboard."

"You can call me Ash. I'm glad to be here," she said, then she walked to the elevator.

Lauren and Anderson walked out of the medbay together. They approached Kaidan and he stood, saluting the pair. Anderson raised his hands to give Kaidan permission to be informal. "Alenko, you did a fine job down there," said Anderson. "I'm going to need you, Williams and Jenkins. We're going to the Council about this Spectre Saren possibly going rogue. You heard the accounts from the survivors. They need to know that he is working with the geth!"

"Yes, sir," Kaidan said. "I'm..." But Anderson cut him off.

"I know what you're going to say. Don't apologize for anything. That beacon was destroyed. We don't know if it was set to go off on purpose. Your readings may be all the information we get from it. I'll be sending it to the top Prothean scientists they have on the Citadel. Now head on up, we'll probably be reaching it soon."

Lauren had stood quietly until she and Kaidan started to make their way up. "You know it's ok, Kaidan," she said as she climbed the stairs in front of him. "You didn't know what would happen. Where's Jenkins?"

"I'm trying to tell myself that, thanks. And Jenkins? He's been at his locker since we got back, cleaning his armor and his guns...pretty meticulously. I think he feels guiltier than I do."

"I find that hard to believe..." Lauren chuckled as they walked through the CIC.

"Maybe so...but I've done a lot of growing up in the last few hours."

Lauren stopped and turned to him, intrigued. "The last few hours?"

"Vyrnnus, Akuze...you. I have a whole lot to be guilty about, if I wanted to dwell on myself. And that's what I realized...I've been dwelling on myself. Seeing those colonists on Eden Prime...they didn't have a chance. This Saren has to be stopped, whatever he is doing with the geth. You know, I always held back a little...with my biotics...when dealing with a living target. I'm not going to do that anymore. I had always wanted to help people...if I'm not giving my best because I'm worried about something that happened years ago...I'm not doing anyone a damn bit of good."

"I'm glad to hear it...because I think this is something bigger than we realize," said Lauren, trying her best to shut the horrific images out of the forefront of her mind.

x-X-x

Standing in Ambassador Donnel Udina's office was getting on Lauren's nerves. They had been in there for over two hours and were still waiting on their "urgent meeting" with the Council. Did these people not care that hundreds, if not thousands, of humans were slaughtered because of their so-called top Spectre? She had heard Ashley say she wasn't a fan of politicians...Lauren's fondness for them certainly wasn't growing.

When he and Anderson left and ordered them to meet at the Citadel Tower in a little bit, Lauren was in no hurry. "I think we should make them wait on us," she said to the trio who remained with her.

"That's probably not the best way to deal with politicians..." Kaidan warned.

"Maybe not...but I want to just say fuck 'em."

"That's what I'd do, ma'am. Just saying," replied Ashley.

"Won't Anderson be angry if we're late?" Jenkins said tentatively.

Lauren looked at Ashley. "These boys just don't get it, do they?"

"I always thought marines were more badass than this," joked Ashley. "You guys are highly disappointing."

Kaidan rolled his eyes while Jenkins looked a little dejected. "We'll walk there," said Lauren. "But we're taking our time."

x-X-x

Lauren held good to her promise of taking her time. Kaidan had never seen her walk so slowly. Most of the time when she was determined about something...speed was her option. He smiled to himself thinking of her obstinancy. Ashley was a lot like her. He wondered to himself if having two Lauren Shepards on the Normandy was the best idea.

Trailing behind the pair of women, Jenkins looked pleased with the view in front of him. "Hey Alenko..." he whispered. "Can I talk to you later when we're done with all this? In private? Away from the commander?"

"Yeah, sure. Anytime." Kaidan couldn't hide the curious look on his face.

They walked up the steps into the main lobby of the Tower and two turians stood arguing.

"I know I can find proof on Saren. Just give me more time," said the turian in blue armor.

"No, Garrus, you've found nothing. This is closed," the turian in the silver armor replied and walked away. The other turian folded his arms and looked toward Lauren and perked up.

"Commander Shepard." Lauren stopped at being addressed.

"Can I help you?" she said warily. "How do you know who I am?"

"Sorry...I'm Garrus Vakarian, an officer with Citadel Security. I caught wind that you ran into Saren Arterius on Eden Prime. I've been conducting my own investigation on him. He's up to something, but I haven't been able to find anything."

"Yes, we're going to talk about him with the Council right now," Lauren said.

"Well, I'm sure it won't be enough. It never is and most of his files are classified. I've got another lead though...C-Sec isn't doing anything, but you are. If you need anything, find me."

Garrus walked away and Lauren looked at the rest. "I guess Anderson's probably waiting...we've held him up enough."

**A/N: I won't take all parts of the story this slowly...but I guess I like this stuff. :) I hope you all are too! To guest: yes, I can see the shower situation being bad, I have to give that some more thought. :) Thank you for the reviews though!**


	9. Chapter 9

"We've been on the Citadel for eight hours and you've already pulled in a turian defect from C-Sec, a krogan on a vendetta and a quarian on her pilgrimage? And that somehow convinced the Council to make you the first human Spectre? That's pretty impressive," said Kaidan as he looked over the duty roster, shaking his head in disbelief.

Lauren leaned back on they couch they were sitting on in the _Normandy_'s captain's quarters. "You helped me find Garrus Vakarian...I'm honestly surprised you suggested we look for him. The krogan, Wrex...he was ready to go as soon as I didn't take his shit. You came back here after that, but the sound file Tali'Zorah had...invaluable, but it wasn't all sunshine and roses." Her face sank into a frown. "Don't forget that on top of that I managed to get Anderson moved off the ship. That wasn't on my agenda."

"You can't help what happened with Anderson...Com..." Kaidan took a breath in slight frustration. "What should I call you when we talk here on board? I know what to do when we are out in public, but..."

"Just call me Lauren. No one else does. Joker could and has, but now he just calls me _Commander_ because of some weird fetish of his. Some kind of dominatrix thing he thinks I have. Or should." A smile started to return to Lauren's face.

"I won't get into your kinky relationship with Joker," chuckled Kaidan.

"There's nothing going on between us," said Lauren.

"He told me that you two 'had a thing' years ago on the _Emden_."

Lauren's mouth fell open. "Hardly! We flirted a bit, I kind of liked his cocky attitude. Then one night after our duty shift was over, I let him kiss me. It was ok, but no sparks. I was only just starting to get a little interested in Daniel too...he was just so far away."

Kaidan held up his hands. "It's fine...you don't have to explain. I've seen and heard enough from Joker to get him." He looked back to his datapad.

"We've been stocked with dextro food supplies now for the turian and quarian. Our regular food supplies have been doubled because of the krogan...and Mess Sergeant Chase told me she wanted to kill you."

"She can stand in line," Lauren deadpanned. "I'm sure by the end of all this...most of the crew will hate me. I'm not a good leader like Anderson."

"You'll be fine, Lauren," said Kaidan. "You've got a fine crew and they have no qualms about what we are getting into."

Her eyes glanced up from her hands that she had been staring at to rest on Kaidan's face. An awkward silence fell as their eyes locked for a little too long. Lauren coughed. "Um, about New Year's..."

"It's been over three months...I told you it was no problem. You were drunk and I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. I shouldn't have fallen asleep in your apartment," Kaidan quickly explained.

"No, I mean earlier...there are parts I do remember...like at midnight. I, um..."

"Were still pretty intoxicated," finished Kaidan. "You just..."

Lauren put her hand over Kaidan's mouth. "Shut up! I'm trying to talk here and you keep interrupting. I wanted to say I was sorry about how I acted...and for Christmas too. I wasn't drunk then..."

"You didn't do anything wrong...," he said from behind her hand. She tried to ignore the pleasant feel of his lips on her palm.

"Kaidan, I need to explain something...I thought on Christmas that you somehow were making a pass at me, so on New Year's when I..." Her face started to turn a little red at the memory. "I kissed you...I knew what I was doing. I _wanted_ to...Christmas, I was scared. New Year's, I wasn't." She had brought her hand down and now both were clasped in her lap.

"Oh." Kaidan couldn't think of anything better to say.

Lauren closed her eyes and just let the words fall out of her mouth. "I do have a point to this...my point is...this mission is paramount. I want us to meet like this every morning to go over things...as ground assignments allow, obviously. I want your frank feedback, Kaidan. You are the person I trust the most on this ship...that isn't changing."

"So something_ is_ changing?" Kaidan said, finding his tongue again.

"I don't know. What I do know is I don't want this clouded with a bunch of sentimental shit. You are important to me. You're my best friend. Whatever is happening...we don't have time to explore it. My gut says this Reapers thing is big, and it has never lied to me."

"Well," said Kaidan, clearing his throat and abruptly changing subjects, "that's everything I had. Everything is go...where are we heading first?"

"I think we should head to Therum...to find that asari. Maybe she can help us deal with her mother."

Kaidan stood to leave. "Anything else?"

When Lauren stood it made her too close and Kaidan forced himself to take a step back. "No, Kaidan...we need to head out ASAP. Inform Joker."

"Aye, ma'am," he responded and left the captain's quarters. Outside the door, Jenkins was waiting. He quickly caught up and lockstepped with Kaidan.

"Hey, do have a chance right now to talk? About what I wanted to talk about earlier on the Citadel?" said Jenkins.

"I've got about 5 minutes. Shoot." Kaidan stopped and faced the soldier, his arms crossed. He really didn't want to be bothered right now.

"This is my first long-term galactic assignment. Most of my deployments lasted only a few weeks. So this is going to seem kind of weird...and maybe a little..."

"My time is short, Jenkins," said Kaidan curtly. "Spit it out."

"Have you ever had a relationship on a mission?" Jenkins blurted out.

"What? No!" Kaidan wondered if Jenkins had somehow heard the conversation he just had with Lauren.

"I know that there are regs on fraternization...I just mean, like, promises of something later? After the mission's over?"

"Jenkins, I can't read what you are trying to get at exactly, but I would say, if she outranks you, she's out of your league. If she doesn't, then give it a shot, but I will have order on this ship. Regulations will be followed, do you understand, soldier?"

Jenkins was wide-eyed at Kaidan's sudden assertion of authority. "Um, yes, sir." He awkwardly saluted because he wasn't sure if he was supposed to or not.

"Make sure your station is ready. We'll be launching in 30," said Kaidan, taking the stairs to the CIC. He mentally cursed himself for being so short with Jenkins and hurried to the cockpit.

Wrex, a rugged looking krogan, and Garrus sat at the table in the mess and glanced toward each other as Jenkins stood in shock for a moment then walked quickly away as well.

"What was that about? Are all human ships like this?" asked Garrus.

Wrex sniffed the air. "I'm not sure, but I know when a male is trying to stake a claim on a female...that was it."

Garrus chuckled. "Turians don't mind a little fraternization on their ships...helps ease the tension. I've always thought humans were a bit uptight when it came to that sort of thing."

"Must be some female to get both of those humans worked up. Heh, heh," Wrex nodded. "It's going to be a long mission for both of them."

Lauren walked out of the captain's quarters and toward where the pair were talking. "How are you two settling in?" she asked.

"We're doing just fine. Very interesting watching human culture up close. In C-Sec, I was assigned primarily to turian cases," said Garrus. "My father's a retired C-Sec officer, but he was pretty xenophobic. Guess my superiors thought I was too."

"I'm glad you are here, Vakarian, tolerating us humans. Your knowledge of Saren will be invaluable...we wouldn't be this far without you," Lauren smiled.

"You can call me Garrus. Everyone calls my father Vakarian."

"No problem," Lauren laughed. "How about you, Wrex. You have everything you need?"

"If I have food to eat, water to drink and a hard surface to sleep on, oh, and guns to shoot I'm set. I'm good, Shepard." answered the krogan.

"Glad to hear it. Don't be afraid to ask me for anything...supplies, upgrades, whatever." Then Lauren disappeared around the corner and into the elevator.

"I like her," said Wrex. "She's feisty. Would make a good krogan."

"Perhaps," replied Garrus, "But as a turian...well, I could certainly go for that."

"You sound like those human males."

"Heh," the turian laughed. "Maybe I do."

x-X-x

Lauren saw the feminine body of the quarian they had met on the Citadel. She was facing the engine core, apparently just staring at it. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya had the nearly ironclad proof the Council needed to remove Saren from the Spectres and declare him rogue. Lauren was grateful and accepted Tali's offer of help with the mission.

Lauren spoke quietly as she approached so she wouldn't startle her. "Tali, I was just checking in on you. I'm sure you can tell we're about ready to leave the Citadel."

"Oh, Shepard, yes...I'm glad to be going. So many quarians end up here on their pilgrimage, but I'm _glad_ to be leaving."

"Have you gotten yourself settled in all right?"

"Yes, I'm just amazed at this entire ship. There's so much room. If you don't mind, I'd like to stay down here and help with engine performance. It's kind of a soft spot of mine." Tali sounded like she was smiling.

"Sure, I'll let Adams know. He's the one in charge down here, though. Anything you want to do, you pass through him, ok?"

"Absolutely, I'm just grateful to feel safe for a little while." Her voice was small but sincere.

"I can't guarantee safety on this mission, and everyone is expected to do their part."

"I know that, Shepard, and I'm ready to pitch in. It's how we quarians live. You can't be lazy in the flotilla."

"Oh, you won't just be here on the ship. I'm going to be bringing you with me outside as well...can't let good skills go to waste."

Tali tilted her helmet to the side in a show of embarrassment. "Well, I am pretty good at hacking locks and decryption," she said bashfully. "I'm also not too bad with a gun."

Lauren grinned. "You look sweet, but I think there is really a badass quarian woman in there. We're heading to Therum. Since I expect geth and you are our resident expert, be ready to gear up in a few hours."

"That sounds great, Shepard!" Tali said enthusiastically. "I can't wait."

**A/N: This chapter took me longer than I had anticipated to write. I just couldn't write gameplay or cut scenes...I would just feel like I cheated you and me on the greater experience. Thank you for reading and hopefully enjoying this story!**


	10. Chapter 10

A frightened asari was suspended in the air by something and a forcefield blocked Lauren, Tali and Ashley from getting her free. "Scan the area for something that we can use to gain access to that alcove," ordered Lauren as they started down the ramp to the cave floor.

"That over there," said Ashley, walking toward a machine Lauren had never seen before. "I've been around enough mining colonies to know that is a drilling laser. We could drill through the floor and..." She was interrupted by Tali. "Geth, incoming!"

"Time for some payback!" hooted Ashley, as she blasted away at the charging synthetics.

"This is for Rannoch!" yelled Tali, firing with equal fervor.

Lauren had a slight smile of her own as she used her biotics to lift the geth from the ground, making them easy targets. _Sometimes combat can be fun_, she thought. _A nice day out with the girls_.

As the last geth fell, Lauren looked back at the strange laser Ashley was talking about. "How do you use this?" she asked.

The dark-eyed woman shook her head. "I only saw them work. I never learned how to use them."

"Tali?" Lauren looked at the quarian.

"I think I can figure it out...just give me a few...got it!" And the mining laser flared to life, suddenly cutting a deep trench in the rock floor.

"There's an opening on the other side of the alcove!" Lauren shouted. "See if you can go under the cement construction!"

Tali nodded, keeping the laser aimed below where the asari was trapped. Dust filled the air, but the beam made quick work of the rock and soon the air was clearing and the trio was walking past warm rock walls to the opening behind the asari.

"Oh wow, you made it...can you get me down please?" the asari said. "There were geth coming after me and I activated the forcefield, but then i must have hit something else and I was trapped. That console over there should release me."

Lauren looked at it, then looked back at the asari. "Are you Liara T'Soni?"

"I'm Dr. Liara T'Soni, yes."

"And your mother is Matriarch Benezia?"

"Again, yes...can you please get me down?"

"Do you know who your mother is working with?" Lauren asked.

"I haven't spoken to my mother in years. What are you talking about?"

"Do you know a turian named Saren Arterius?" Lauren pressed further.

"No, I do not. All I know is that some geth and a few krogan were trying to capture me just a little while ago and I thought you could be my rescuers. Please get me down." The asari was looking worn.

"I just want to make sure that letting you out won't get me shot in the back," answered Lauren as she pecked at the console, finally freeing the doctor and dropping her to the ground.

"Thank you," she said, brushing herself off. "I'm sorry, but I didn't catch your name?"

"I'm Commander Lauren Shepard of the Alliance Navy, but if you don't respect that I'm also a Spectre. I'm here to find you. We thought maybe you could help deal with your mother." Lauren knew she was being a bit of a hard ass, but she just wasn't so sure about this doe-eyed looking asari.

"I'm sorry, I really don't know what you are talking about. What has she done?" The asari still looked frightened.

"Your mother is working with a turian, Saren Arterius. He's been disbarred as a Spectre and has gone rogue...working with the geth. He's looking for something called the Conduit, and we were told it had something to do with Prothean technology. Have you ever heard of it?"

"The Conduit? No, I know they were wiped out catastrophically about 50,000 years ago, but there's so little left on them. I spend years studying the littlest bits I can find. I don't even know what killed them."

"I think I do...I came into contact with a beacon on a human colony, Eden Prime. It gave me a vision of...horror," said Lauren, her voice tight.

Just then the earth shook. "What was that?" Ashley asked.

"Earthquake," Liara explained. "This planet is filled with active volcanoes. Perhaps your drilling caused a shift, but whatever it was, we should get out of here. This elevator over here can get us nearer to an exit shaft."

The elevator platform began rising, and Ashley found her place beside Lauren. "Kind of rough on the new girl, aren't you?" she teased.

"If her mom is one of the bad guys, why wouldn't she be? I don't trust anyone, until they give me a reason to," answered Lauren.

"Why'd you trust me then?"

"You're one of us...a soldier...a..."

"Human?" Ashley said.

"No, a survivor...it is something that Kaidan and I know very well."

"Yeah...L-T said something about understanding. He never explained though. I know your story well enough. You're kind of the 'what not to do' example in the textbooks," Ashley smiled. "But nobody ever tells you who the real person is behind it. They made you out to be batshit crazy. You don't seem that scary to me."

"Thanks, I'm not...it was just...just poor coping skills, I guess. We can talk about this later," said Lauren as she walked toward where Tali and Liara were talking. "Which way do we go once we reach the top?"

"There's only one way out, you'll know it when you see it," said Liara.

The platform slowed and Lauren saw an alcove much like what Liara had been trapped in, but this one was filled with some large krogan and some geth. "Fuck...draw your weapons!" she shouted.

One of the krogan walked onto the platform. "Give us the asari and we'll leave you alone. I have orders to bring her to Saren."

"She's ours for the time being, no thanks," answered Lauren.

"Then no one gets out of here alive!" yelled the krogan as he and the rest scattered and started firing.

Lauren ducked behind a cement spire and saw Tali and Ashley fan out as well. Krogan were well-known for being mostly offensive fighters and these were no exception. The three woman took advantage of their defensive positions to take out the krogan and the geth as they charged. Liara, being unarmed, ran for a safe place where she hid.

This fight proved to be tougher than the earlier fight with the geth, but the women still prevailed...in time to feel the cave start to shake violently, much more than before.

"We need to get out of here now!" Liara shouted. "I think this volcano is going to erupt!"

"Goddammit!" Lauren yelled. "Joker, we need an evac now! Can you pinpoint our location?"

"Yeah, Commander, I got it. Be there in two," answered the pilot.

x-X-x

Back on the Normandy, Lauren sighed as she stepped into the hot water of the shower. Only Ashley was in there with her, as Tali had her own cleansing routine and that involved Dr. Chakwas and a whole lot of sterile instruments, and Liara said she would head to the mess for something to eat.

"Some day, huh?" asked Ashley, as she started to lather up her hair.

"You're telling me. I never expected just trying to get some blue chick off a planet would make us cause a volcanic explosion," said Lauren.

"Ha. I bet it's just another day for Commander Shepard," Ashley laughed.

"Laugh it up, Chief. Just wait until I have a bad day," Lauren joked.

After hitting the showers Lauren called her ecclectic team together in the comm room to introduce them to their new asari member. Liara was the first one to enter the room.

"Thank you, Commander, for saving me from those krogan. I don't know what they wanted with me."

"You can call me Lauren. He said he was bringing you to Saren. Maybe he thought the same thing we did...that you could help us find the Conduit...or at least tell us what it is."

Wrex entered the room next. "Nice, an asari...biotics can always put up a better fight."

Garrus was right behind him. "And I suppose crack-shot turians mean nothing?" Wrex just guffawed loudly.

Kaidan and Ashley walked in together, talking quietly amongst themselves. Ashley winked at Lauren and took her seat. Kaidan finished whatever he was saying to her and sat down himself, giving Lauren an attentive, but unemotional, look.

Tali came in last, apologizing. "I'm sorry I'm late. My suit had a small rupture...probably from flying rock. It's patched, but Dr. Chakwas gave me a heavy dose of antibiotics to stave off the infection."

"Ok, well," Lauren looked at all the faces looking at her, and suddenly she felt very inadequate. Almost 29 years old, commanding officer of the Alliance's top ship, and on a mission of galactic importance. This was not what she had dreamed as a girl wanting to escape BAaT. She never felt the leader, but she was always put into places of leadership. So she swallowed hard and tamped those feelings down.

"This is Dr. Liara T'Soni. She is the daughter of Matriarch Benezia. She will be helping us with her knowledge of the Protheans and with her mother as well. Anderson said she had last been seen heading to Noveria, so that is where we're heading next."

"Lauren," Liara started, "You said you had come into contact with a Prothean beacon."

"Yeah, it burned something into my mind," she answered.

"Perhaps I can help. If you would like I can join our minds, then I can see what you saw and possibly give some greater context to it."

Lauren was concerned. "Join minds? It's crowded enough just having me in here."

"I promise I won't be invasive...just find what you want me to find. Nothing else."

"What about you? Will I be able to read your mind?"

"I'll let you see anything you want to see," Liara stated. "I have nothing to hide."

Lauren thought that maybe this would give her a chance to see if Liara was truly the innocent she claimed to be. "All right," she said reluctantly. "Let's do it."

Liara stood, taking Lauren's face into her hands. Her sky blue eyes looked into Lauren's gray-blue ones deeply then suddenly went solid black.

"Embrace eternity!" the asari said.

Lauren immediately lost her own vision as her eyes involuntarily fluttered shut, then she felt the oddest sensation of being in more than one place at once. She could tell Liara was moving through her mind, sensing things enough to know what they were, but not look. Soon there was this unexplainable opening between them, nothing physical, but it could definitely be felt. This woman's mind was fascinating, and she really was what she had claimed to be...a boring, Prothean expert. It wasn't that her life was so interesting to Lauren, but rather the experience of being able to experience another person's life.

Liara touched the memory that held the beacon's signal and Lauren's mind was filled with it once again, drowning out all other thoughts. Screeching, pain, blood, anguish, slaughter, death.

Everyone else was watching this in interest. No one could really tell what was going on, because the process was silent. But when Kaidan saw Lauren's eyes open and suddenly go wide in fear, he gripped the arm of his chair tightly, fighting the urge to say anything. He had no idea if anything was wrong, but it didn't look right. She looked scared. He looked over at Ashley who had the same worried look on her face.

Kaidan finally felt himself breathe again when Liara released Lauren's face. "That...that was astounding. By the Goddess, I've never seen anything like it," said Liara breathlessly. "It's a communication of some sort, but I can't tell what, it's like it's signal has been jammed. We need something to clear it up." She swayed awkwardly and Lauren reached out to catch her before she fell.

"Are you ok?" Lauren asked.

"Yes, I'll be fine. The process is very tiring. I should go lie down."

"I'll help you to the medbay. Dr. Chakwas can look you over first," said Lauren.

"Thank you. I appreciate the concern."

As the pair walked out, the rest of the group began to disperse, but Kaidan stopped Ashley from leaving. "The asari is the one getting help? I thought...Shepard was in terror part way through that."

"I know, I saw it too," said Ashley quietly. "Whatever it was, I don't want her getting into my head. She won't like what she sees. I'll tell you what, L-T...Shepard is a tough and badass as they claim her to be."

"I know..." he answered, putting his hand to his forehead.

"You do?"

"Yeah, we go back a long way."

Ashley smiled mischievously. "That's news...How far?"

"We met as teenagers...it's a long story," said Kaidan.

"So are you two...?" Ashley brought her two pointer fingers together.

"Together? No, not at all."

"Oh, so you broke up..."

"No!" said Kaidan emphatically. "It's never been anything. We've always just been friends..."

"I see..." Ashley nodded her head, grinning wickedly. "You don't have to worry about me. I won't tell...Your secret is safe with me."

**A/N: Yes, this is kind of game stuff...but it is my paraphrased memory with my own imagination added in. A much more interesting way to get Liara, IMO. :) Thank you for reading!**


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